Wednesday, April 25, 2007

More of the same

If you have been reading my blog for a while, you will have noticed that sometimes I find it very difficult to make choices.

Well, that is to say...

I'm very determined about what I want, but find it hard to find myself the best way to GET there. What I want is to work with historical textiles and costume (research as well as reconstruction) parttime, and keep designing jewellery next to that. There is this creative part in me, and an academical part. I couldn't say goodbye to either of them. Nor do I want to say goodbye to either of them.

I study archaeology at the moment, but I'd also love to study textile restoration and conservation, as well as jewellery design / metalsmithing. If I want to study all three of them I will be bound to school for at least 10 years (eight more years after this one), which is a LOT.

I do know, I don't want to study for eight more years.

I'm making myself totally nuts with this. Do I want to get my masters in archaeology? Do I really want to study jewellery design, or should I take evening classes? Do you ever have a hard time making desicions?
I do.
And I've got no clue how to get rid of it.


msbelle said...

My goodness, girl, you just tickle me!

I have a hard time making decisions. It's hard to really know what to do sometimes. But you have to follow your heart.

Try this: let the decisions go for a few days and just put them on the back burner. Dream on it. Sleep on it. Then come back to it in a few days. What means the most to you? What will make you the happiest? Write down the pros and cons of each. It may be that night classes are a good idea. It may be the idea of more school is crap. What's in your heart?

Where there's a will, there's a way. If it means a lot to you, you'll find a way. If you can dream it, you can be it. Picture in your head what it is you want and how you want it to be. Write down what you see yourself doing and it will come. You're so talented and industrious, it will come.

Machteld said...

What suprises me about modern culture is our tendency to distinguish between "study" and "work" so rigidly. Between activities that require an official certification and hobbies. Between work and "play time" ... We tend to think very linear, tend to think in boxes with convenient labels on it. Wel, maybe you're not a linear person (school-university-job-)
and maybe you can't be labeled that easily (student, designer,archeologist).

I think that:
You are already a designer
You are already an archeologist
You are already a textiles designer/historical designer
you are already an academic
you are already a creative mind

Im each of these areas you're already working very hard, accumulating experiemces, diplomas, porfolio's etcetera

When I read your blog, I get the impression that sometimes you feel the need to focus on one of these aspects, go along with the tidal wave that goes up and down again, and then move on to the next aspect, going along with the tidal wave again. For example, focus on jewelery for a few months, going with that flow, tidal wave up and down, until you reach the shore and then go with the next flow that comes along, maybe a flow that tells you you need a quiet retreat

And that's a positive thing, because it means you know how to go with the creative/academic/ intuitive flow!! What makes it difficult, is that the society we live in, thinks this is something negative, because going with the flow is not linear and it cannot be conveniently boxed and labelled. So this linear, labelled society might send you all kinds of subtle messages that you're doing something wrong.

Your'e not! Trust your intuition, creativity and go with the flow!!

Hm, this reply grew a bit longer that I expected. It's just my interpretation of what you write about in your blogs. Maybe it helps you